Jealousy

It was quite interesting to come across a podcast discussing an emotion called jealousy. According to the podcast (in Stuff You Should Know, N 105), jealousy is one of the most widely known triggers of domestic violence. And it is essential to note that some people consider women abuse out of jealousy to be less negative than women abuse out of any other motives. I think the reason is that the people who hold this view consider jealousy one of the ways of expressing care. They are of the opinion that in couple relationships jealousy is normal. However, I don’t share this view. In my opinion, jealousy leading to violence cannot be justified or treated less negatively.

Is jealousy different from envy? These two emotions might seem similar but in reality they are different. When you envy, you want something you do not have. And when you are jealous you are afraid to loose what you have.

In one of my previous posts, I described fear as one of the emotions typical of humans and most animals. Such emotions are usually considered primary. Other examples of primary emotions are anger, disgust, joy. Besides primary emotions, humans also possess secondary emotions, which are considered self-conscious emotions and are typical only of people. You must have an awareness of yourself in relation to others in order to experience secondary emotions. Thus, jealousy, pride, guilt, shame are all secondary emotions.

As I have already mentioned in my post about fear, all emotions are motivators. For example, joy motivates you to do something again; fear motivates you not to do something. Similarly, jealousy motivates you to prevent something.

Some researches on jealousy are based on gender distinctions. Women display more jealous characteristics than men. One reason might be that women are more open and freer to express their emotions than men. Besides, men are more upset about sexual infidelity, whereas women are more upset about emotional infidelity.  However, more recent studies suggest that jealousy is more individual. I agree with the latter statement, as there are many cases when men become very jealous because of emotional betrayal. Besides, jealousy may have some personal background. For example, if you have often been cheated on before you may become very suspicious of your spouse. Or, if you have often cheated before you are aware that others can cheat on you.  The fact itself can lead to jealousy.

Some other studies suggest that the roots of jealousy lie in the feeling of insecurity. For instance, you may have a sense of insecurity because of your outer appearance. It is interesting that according some research studies, tall men and women of average height are usually less jealous than those who are too tall or too short.

To sum it up, I would say that I support the opinion that one of the main reasons for jealousy is the sense of insecurity. If you are content with yourself, if you are loved and trust the one you love there must be no room for jealousy.